This week’s super worm moon + mercury retrograde + spring equinox has been full of some major energy and as I reflect on the week, I want to share my journey of self-doubt and making a decision that goes against the societal norms.
I was talking with some dear friends the other day and as we were chatting, one of them said that how she likes to think of life is that it’s a constant circle of content and discontent. When we’re discontent, that’s a time to reflect, to tune in, and to find what we need to change in order to be in a place of contentment. Then we stay there for a bit and it’s on to the next thing we need to shed, the next thing we need to revise, the next step in our evolution so that we can be content again.
For me this week, that next step is giving up alcohol. In college (as many do), I didn't have a healthy relationship with alcohol, blacking out and not remembering what had happened or who'd I'd talked to the night before. More recently, I haven't drank to get drunk but I still have felt like it serves me and it takes me days after a drink or two to feel like myself again. I’ve been struggling with skin issues for years (eczema, dermatitis, psoriasis), which is one of my primary motivating factors.. Why am I putting all of these health foods, oils like zendocrine to support liver detoxification, and the supplements that give me vitality in my body only to ruin it again with substances that don't make me feel good and ultimately cause me long-term harm? The mere fact that it is not only normalized, but so heavily promoted through media and advertising in the first place is enough to make me skeptical, but this is just one of many other reasons that led me to this conclusion. There is study upon study showing that moderate alcohol consumption has been linked to an increased risk in breast cancer and other cancers, but most of all, the spiritual aspect is what has led me to feel strong in my decision. After all, “Alcohol” comes from the Arabic “al-kuhl,” which means “body eating spirit,” which kind of blew my mind to find out. While I could go into all of the reasons, I highly recommend checking out Sahara Rose’s The Highest Self podcast episode about it (Ep. 175), which is what finally made me feel ready to take this step into my own freedom.
My first thoughts when I made the decision to give up drinking were "What will others think of me? What will my friends think of me?" I worried that if I'm not drinking, it will impact my relationships because we won't have that commonality, won't have that catalyst to loosen up and bring us closer. As Sahara speaks to in her podcast, whenever we say "let's get a drink, let's take a shot together," etc. it's our way of gathering and sharing an experience. Rather than that being our shared experience and way of bonding, I look forward to circling around to really connect, to be open with each other, to talk about things that matter over coffee or tea, and get to know the people close to me on a deeper level. I am not by any means trying to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't be doing, but rather telling my experience, my reasoning, and hopefully setting anyone else free to stand in your truth and be who you want to be without judgement and without feeling alone, no matter what that step is for you.
PS This is how I act sober: https://www.instagram.com/p/BvT90d7Hp6e/
I feel better, I love myself more, and I’m just as willing to cut rugs and make an ass of myself.
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