I’ve been seeing so many posts for the #10yearchallenge and with launching my website this month, I’ve been spending quite a bit of time reflecting on how far I have come. I am typically a forward thinker, always thinking about where I can improve and refine, but something I have been working on is giving myself more grace and acknowledging the positive things I have accomplished and internal hurdles I have overcome. As everyone in this world too has experienced, my life has not been all sunshines and rainbows, even if we too often try to make it appear that way on social media.
10 years ago I can honestly say I didn’t love myself. I didn’t know why I was here, and often had thoughts about how it’d be easier to not be having this earthly experience. I had a poor relationship with food, to the extent that I wouldn’t eat or drink water throughout the day and when I did, the food choices I made were not nourishing to my body. I remember even getting angry when my mom would purchase anything but white bread because that was the only kind I would eat. Even into my college years, my relationship with food was toxic at best, and life threatening at its worst, as I would feel guilty after each time I ate and many times deprived myself for days at a time. I was chronically dehydrated, or would drink sports drinks that are primarily sugar, sodium, dyes, and chemicals. This all led me to have poor gut health, feeling toxic and low on energy, even with being a young and active teen. I felt that I needed to dye my hair with harsh chemicals, have tan skin, and use a lot of bronzer and makeup to be pretty. I had a strong lack of self worth. Without purpose and wellness intact, that also manifested into anger, obsessiveness, and overall struggles with my mental health. I used to physically pick at my eyebrows, something common in type A personality types, called trichotillomania. This is one of the biggest changes you likely notice from the picture taken 10 years ago, but what I see is so much more. I see someone who was insecure, meticulous, unhealthy, self-critical, and unhappy with the body I was given.
I hadn't looked outside of myself yet.
Today, I am healing from the inside out.
Using my oils regularly, drinking more water, doing yoga, meditating, recognizing and changing my negative thoughts, gratitude journalling, cleaning up my diet, tapping.. These tools and steps, all things I never would've dreamed I'd be doing in 2009, has all changed how I feel in every aspect of the word health.
10 year after the picture on the left:
I've incorporated more plants into my everyday routine
I have a strong sense of purpose
I recognize and resist the urge to self sabotage and mutilate
I'm establishing better boundaries
I'm becoming less critical of myself and others
I give myself more time for self care
I am starting to allow myself to be me, not others' expectations of me
I live less of my life from a place of fear
I am enjoying the process of being a work in progress
This isn't all meant to be doom and gloom and woe is me or ooh look at how perfect I've become, because that's very far from the truth, but instead is a glimpse into WHY I do what I do. WHY I'm willing to step out of my comfort zone to give presentations, to be in the spotlight sharing essential oils and other holistic tools. WHY I'm willing to travel across the country, even the globe, to share my story and show people how to get these natural solutions in their homes. Coming from somebody who had plans of working in a cubicle alone, living in a large city, and being a private person (all opposite end of the spectrum from where I am and the work I do), I can honestly say life changes our circumstances, our plans, and our desires in magnificent ways we could never see coming, if we allow it. All of this was meant to be what my beginning years looked like, so that I would have this journey to becoming a more conscious, vibrant being and could have the opportunity, the motivation, and the energy to support others in their journey to feeling and living their best. This transformation is why doTERRA fit so perfectly into my life.
I felt called to share this to start my blogging journey because if there’s one thing that has been opened up to me through my work, it’s that each and every person has their insecurities, struggles, and story to share. I feel called to share these oils each day because of my story, because I have felt low points, and because I have seen the tremendous difference methods outside of the usual scope have made on my well-being. I know 10 years from now, I will look back at this and be astonished at how different of a woman I am today, and I look forward to seeing the progress that the next 10 years will bring.
Kallie St Clair
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What did your life look like 10 years ago? Where would you be today without your experiences during that time? What do you want your life to look like 10 years from now?
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